


The Big Bronze Bukkake Bout

by CharadesOfChagrin



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Autism, Bestiality, Bukkake, Competitive, F/F, F/M, Gay, Genji Sucks Too, Hanzo Sucks, Jeff Kaplan - Freeform, Kinky?, M/M, Multi, Necrophilia?, Orgy, TF2 is better, bronze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 15:01:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13320642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharadesOfChagrin/pseuds/CharadesOfChagrin
Summary: Now this, this triggered my dick off.Hold on to your ovaries, this oughtta be a match to remember!A metaphor for Overwatch comp bronze.Read in an inebriated Scottish accent





	The Big Bronze Bukkake Bout

It started off as a simple day in the world of Overwatch. Both sides had all of their characters together by the 30 second mark. Each one was instalocked. They started in the spawn where everyone on both sides checked each other’s stats and got into incredibly heated debates about their team comp. No one was playing any character they had more than an hour on….

The in game chat was flooded, and I mean flooded with name-calling, threats to leave or troll, threats to report, racial slurs, insults to families, death threats, SR/hero time dick measuring contests, and every sort of toxicity imaginable. It got worse when they started calling out each other’s win rates. Hey, no one had one above 30%, but people were starting to break down. Back in the primal days millions of years ago, if someone pointed at another man’s cock and laughed at it in front of everyone in public, there might be a fight to the death on the spot, resulting in the victor pissing on the villain’s broken corpse. Jeff Kaplan himself had enough of their shit and took away the text chats of both teams. At least they had voice chat…oh wait! No one communicates anyway. Eh, whatever.

Finally the attacking team was released. They had no coordination, but neither did defense so it doesn’t really fucking matter idk. Enemy Pharah soared into the sky immediately, booping half of the team off the ledge. D.va almost made it back, but pharah unloaded her whole clip into her mech before she could make it back (Or hold right click). However, rather than staying pharahway, the enemy bird decided for whatever fucking reason to stay up close near the team, spreading her vajayjay wide open for all to see, not evem trying to get to cover. This allowed the attacking Widowmaker to strike a kill right in Pharah’s fucking vajayjay. Not that it was much use, the gods of rng smiled down on that widow in only that moment, because suddenly Widow and Hanzo found each other, and went into a sniper battle, which turned into nothing but a premature ejaculation-fest. However the Hanzo actually knew what he was doing suddenly. He closed the distance by using cover and then Widow was getting anally raped, Hanzo was literally right on top of her, literally riding her, and after she died, it was known by all that Hanzo has the papers and the possession to Widowmaker’s vagina now. He owns that shit. 

Now the team for whatever fucking reason decided to stand in front of the payload like a bunch of goddamn donkeys. Now instead of the team with two men down standing around the corner waiting for the payload to come up and funneling them in to what we know as a "choke point", they stood in front of the payload and just sacrificed themselves to the god of tits and cunts because that's all they're doing. Holy shitting fuck what's going on?

Now what little was said on voice chat only comprised of people who inserted their microphones into their anuses while speaking, peak volume sounds from anal vibration. This could have been remedied by some rallying, but eh. So the vc remained quiet until someone beat someone at picking Ana. A verbal barrage of buttfuckery was never heard more intensely than the Ana main’s screaming. The other guy picked their toy, and now they’ll draw all over their walls with their little jizz crayon to try to get them to change their hero. Eventually, it worked (Still didn’t stop Jeff from taking away Voice Chat for them). But anyway, back to the Bukkake.  
Widow and Pharah came back and widow decided to try and violate her booty like last time. It failed. Widow fired on the enemy spawn and retreated to the front next to it. She was about to get burnt by Pharah so badly someone should call the fire brigade. The entire team literally gang-raped her. It was so bad she needed skin grafts for the burn she just got there.

The attackers finally with much struggle made it to the choke point. There they were met by the puppy squishing lollipop centaur lady with zero fucks given Orisa, and a Reinhardt. For some fucking reason, Orisa thought it was a good idea to never use her halt ability on the enemy. Now Reinardt’s back was hurting from carrying Orisa’s ass, so he decided to go in and try to crush some pussy. Bravely, Reinhardt charged into the whole team as they were there, and his team was behind him. However, Reinhardt caught Roadhog and body slammed that fucker into the wall. However, it didn’t kill him. Instead of uppercutting that cunt in the vagina, Rein ignored him and started swinging his hammer in a desperate attempt to get some while Road got a shield and healed. The entire team stared at Reinhardt and asked him one thing: ”Do you like anal? Because you’re sure about to get some.” 

Orisa was completely pussy-footing around. She just sat there with a can of degrees, shoving it up her crack while waiting for the action to come to her. She was instantly surrounded on all sides, however, she was much more interested in grinding her sweet centaur ass on the wall than defending the point. Finally, inexplicably, Orisa decided to lube up her robo-vajayjay and stand her ground. She and the rest of the team came to the point and with them alongside she rammed her gun into the enemy team’s cocks. Suddenly a miracle happened, Orisa fired her alt like a girl who just ripped off her chastity belt and started popping Ping-Pong balls out of her pussy like a pro. Orisa was able to suppress the enemy’s position by chain-firing all 150 of her bullets into them; suppressing their erections and lady boners from ever coming out of their pants. It was a team wipe. Well, except for widow. The Genji volunteered to take her out before she could fall back.  
Widow was lucky, her shot somehow lined up. Genji was on incredibly low health. Widow easily could have ended him, but to no avail. Genji retreated back and got a health pack, all Widow needed to do was punch him in the cunt, but she didn’t. Instead, she fired her machine gun. Even though she had a spread the size of the fucking Great Wall of China, she still missed Genji, who managed to end her by deflecting the bullets right onto her clitoris. 

Slowly, the attacking team came back. The defending team went back to the first choke to fortify it. Torbjorn, being the spawn of hell, sat down without even trying and got play of the game. No one could seem to do anything to the turret. You’d swear they were on console. However out came D.Va, who had her ability defense matrix (pre rework) which made her a fucking amazing swallower of jizz. She could eat a watermelon through a picket fence ffs and protect her teammates from STD's other violent idk sexual assaults. Sadly she's a goddamn load taking jizz guzzling (not in the helpful way) donkey who thought she was cool and didn't need it, so she was aborted from her mech immediately and took a one way all expenses paid ride on the rapid sex machine known as Torbjorn's turret. 

Finally, the attacking side had Reinhardt as their anchor tank. Ana was poking out behind him. She was looking at the enemy team like some seedy voyeur trying to observe some porn scene unfolding in front of her. She thought she was only having bad luck on her losing streak, but she was just heavy as fuck. While her team was busy, Ana was tossing out sleep darts like they were yesterday’s tampons, all while not using her ult on anybody. Genji smelt Ana’s vagina from halfway down the street, and dived in for the kill. However, Ana slept him, leaving him for the rest of the team, and cuckolding him. 

Now, Ana could hear Roadhog’s big fat fucking schlong drop down and she reacted far too slowly and got raped up the asshole by his thick pig dick. He then turned to the next waifu whose virginity he was about to take away: Mercy. Mercy tried to fly away, however the hog hooked her into next week, cracked an egg up her asshole, and fucked it till it was scrambled. 

Now everyone’s ults were ready. D.va came out of fucking nowhere with a nuke. Not that it mattered tho, because Rein took one for the team and absorbed the entire cumsplosion D.va produced. D.va got back into her mech and flew straight into the enemy, but the enemy covered the mech with so much jizzz she couldn't clean it and had to leave. Widow popped her cherry, not that it matters because she’s shite. Hanzo popped his own Viagra, but there was no grav with it so no one took any of it. Symmetra however finally did something useful for the attacking team and pulled a teleporter out of her vagina. Symmetra ran around like a chicken with an egg up its ass. She was throwing out deployables like a blindfolded guy in a whorehouse, more likely to stick his dick in a vending machine than anything else. Unfortunately, Junkrat used his ult for once in the fucking game, just to take out the teleporter and shit on Symm. 

Winston then appeared to destroy Junk. Junkrat thought he could get the jump on Winston, but the gorilla put down his shield, started ducking in and out and shoved his entire Tesla cannon up Junkrat’s cockhole. 

Now rather than coordinating or even waiting for the others, Winston decided to dive onto the objective himself, waiting eagerly for the big smelly bukake-fest the enemy team delivered. Meanwhile at the choke, Rein was still holding on, with Moira at the ready pissing and giving him a nice handy whenever necessary. With him was Pharah. Now Pharah had absolutely no counters for this moment so she had her pick of the whorehouse. But for some reason, she had an allergy to being in the high ground and air, so she decided it would be a good idea to hug the floor with the others, much to Roadhog’s pleasure, who took her in his arms and jizzed in her face like my dad did to me. 

It was like Soldier’s first time in a whorehouse, he didn’t know where to stick his dick. Instead of sticking with the team at the choke, Soldier heard Roadhog coming and decided it was a better idea to step aside and suck of that big smelly fat pig. Too little too late, D.Va popped another ult to save her comrade. However, Roadhog is a fucking idiot and didn't know the map at all. D.Va's mech exploded violently, frying the pig while he was stuck in the corner. Roadhog should have put to use the techniques he learned with his first girlfriend: pulling out. Sadly D.Va put a bum in his oven, and he ate for two that moment (which he probably already does like the fat disgusting pig he is). He's now in the pudding club because she just filled him right up the vajayjay like a clueless mongoloid. 

“Heyya, would you like to see my freshly trimmed bush?” Tracer asked moments before Hanzo shat out a scatter arrow through her fallopian tubes. Hanzo tried to stay with the rest of the team, but as soon as he got a whiff of Mercy’s vagina, he overextended and forgot the rest of the defending team hates his stinking Shimada guts. Unfortunately Hanzo forgot he was a ninja cunt and could climb up fucking walls. 

Junkrat spent at least five minutes mistakenly shooting his own team’s turret. He then was attacked by Soldier. Instead of doing anything right, Junkrat tried to duel Soldier at a distance. Soldier however turned him into a jizz magician, he blasted his load and Jujkrat made that shit disappear. The rest of his team was actually jealous tbh. Jealous of anyone fortunate enough to have never fucking played with him. 

All Reaper was doing was sulking out on parts of the map no one else was and doing absolutely jack shit. Eventually he got horny and needed a few dozen souls to use as lubricant so he could jack off to his Blood on the Dancefloor album. So he finally got his ass to the fight. Now, Reaper thinks he’s a gold trapped in a bronze body. He’s very wrong. Miraculously, the team had finally captured the point! And needed to escort the payload. Reaper tried engaging, but found that the enemy was jazzing on him from all sides. To escape the jizz tsunami, Reaper teleported up on the platform above. He was fortunate no one noticed, cause even though his body was ethereal for a short time, his dick was very much corporeal. Unfortunately, Tracer noticed him go. Tragically, she baited out his wraith walk, and Tracer stuck her pulse bomb down Reaper’s urethra. Tracer came. 

Soldier 76 has gold elims, not that that metters. Have you heard of women faking orgasms? Personally, I’ve never had that in my experience, but I’ve learned that’s what men do with gold elims. You’re all faking it. Widow stood guard of the payload, marking it with her ass gass. Soldier walked straight into it and tried in vain to duel Widow, who as a result jizzed through his skull from half a mile away. 

Roadhog made the mistake of contesting the point by himself. Now this was before the rework, so he was essentially just lifting his fat belly in front of them and asking if they want to have a look for his cock, which they'll never find amongst the lard. He died again without using his fucking ult like a stupid fat cunt.

However, Reaper suddenly teleported in front of Widow. Widow could have just lined up the shot, but she has this rank for a reason. It was a stationary target, but no, she instead panicked like a wasp was inside her a-hole and she was waiting for the sting. 

Now instead of sticking his gun up somewhere lewd, Reaper took it on himself to escort the payload, even though the others should have been doing it. He pretty much almost got to the point. Suddenly, he took a helix rocket to the ballsack. In return, he stuck his shotguns up soldier’s taint and let loose on his engorged prostate. Reaper then accidentally walked into the bastion, who started spreading his load uncontrollably like a virgin during his first time. He then noticed the enemy Junkrat, and chased after him like an introverted highschooler asking a girl to prom. Now Reaper could have sent Junkrat back to Australia with buckshot up his dickhole, but he instead decided to peak back and die with two bombs up his buttcrack.

It was all up to Tracer. She zipped up to Zarya, shoved both of her guns into her cooter and sodomized her sweet Russian anus with a strap-on before the DPSs could track her. Suddenly, over the horizon, the rest of the enemy team with ults charged unloaded onto them like a lonely teenager does to himself at 3am. The team was dead, and Tracer was poking the clam on top of the payload in victory. 

Everyone was reported.


End file.
